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another nightmare

12 Mar

I had a dream last weekend and it’s still bothering me so I decided to blog about it. It is my hope that writing about it will bring more insight and I can let it go.

In the dream I was chased by a man. He carried a metal/steel type of crimper. If he caught someone, he’d clamp steel oval links on their tongue or on part of their face, but for most it seemed to be on the tongue. He caught me and though I do not remember the real crimping, I had two clamps on the right side of my tongue. Though the links were oval to being with, once crimped, they became ridged and flattened into a rectangular shape.

He pursued me and I hid in a room with another woman. As he came near I hid in a smaller room, almost closet sized, with a small window. The other woman did not hide fast enough and he grabbed her. He was crimping the steel ovals on her, I did not see where, and each time he crimped another she made a low moaning/groan sound. I decided to climb out the window but as I slid the pane open it made a slight sound. I wasn’t sure if I should continue with my intent to escape because if he heard the window he’d know I was there and find me. The window was small and I knew it would take some time to wriggle my body out of the opening.

Suddenly my inner voice was telling me to wake up, it was just a dream. I started to shake my head and woke from the dream. The sound was actually my daughter making the same sound as the woman in the dream. She was dreaming too.

I can’t shake this dream. I still get this feeling when I remember the sound the woman was making. So…what did the dream mean?!

My tongue is clamped by a man. Is there something I need to stop talking about? He only clamps the right side of my tongue though. Have I been talking negatively about someone or myself lately? Is there something I need to express that I’m feeling anxious about?

I’m running away from something. Is it the negative situation I’m talking about?

The window, my outlook, my perception of the outer world. My concern that I won’t fit or will take some time to wiggle out of the window. Is this a concern of not fitting in, my perception of myself?

i dreamed a dream

23 Feb

I had a dream the other night and I need to discuss it to derive some meaning from it. I was living in on a street lined with reddish brick houses and small apartment buildings in a very large city. I was walking across the alley between my building and the neighbouring building. It was a sunny day and I was with my son who was about three years old. The street was tree-lined. It was an upper class part of the city.

A black man dressed in a suit who was walking on the sidewalk in front of the buildings, stopped to make conversation. He seemed like a pleasant  man, friendly, well dressed, however when he asked my son where he went to school I continued on my way to get inside our building. I didn’t think this man had any business knowing where my son went to school and quietly told my son not to answer the question.

What’s odd is that in the dream my son was only old enough for preschool, but in my mind I was hearing the name of his current elementary school.

Once we were inside I spoke with my Mom. She was in my apartment, for a visit I believe. I told her about the man and his question to my son. My Mom didn’t seem to think it was an odd question. Instead she asked me if I ever played out in front of the building in the little swing area. In my mind I could see a small area about 8′ x 8′ with a swing set. She seemed to find it curious that we never ventured in front of the building to play.

This is all I remember of the dream. I know there was another part but my memory fails me as I type so I’ll add it another time.

If you have any thoughts, please speak up!  I trusted the man until he started asking personal information. I didn’t answer him just hurried off. Why didn’t I just reply? My Mom did not share my concern. Was I being overly cautious? I didn’t understand why a stranger wanted to know where my son went to school.  I hurried off to hide inside. Hmmm, hiding inside myself when someone asks personal information. Not wanting to share my personal side? Not feeling supported by my Mom, my own feminine side, my own Mothering side?

the dream continues

15 Feb

Last night in the middle of a dream, I reached up for someone and popped several ribs out-of-place. I awoke immediately in great pain, yet cannot remember who I was reaching for in the dream.

In pain but very tired I rolled on my left side to find comfort. I finally slipped into a deep sleep and began to dream. There were two parts to my dream sequence. In the first, I was going to a university to attend a yoga class. I kept wondering how I would take part in the class with my ribs out of place. I found the classroom but chose to sit on a bench outside not join everyone inside the room. As I sat on the bench, my choir director came up to talk with me. I took his hand as a sign of fondness for him. After several minutes he picked up his keys with the hand I thought I was holding. I realized I was holding the hand of a tall man with short gray hair who was sitting on the end of the bench with his back to us. The man held his arm backwards and never turned in my direction. I felt creeped out to know I was holding someone’s hand whom I did not know and could not see. I let go of his hand. This part of the dream ended.

In the next part, I was on the grounds of a large, old, palace. I was walking and running through the grounds passed buildings until I came to an old church. I entered the large double doors to find the building full of statues. Most of the statues were broken from the waist up. The statues reminded me of greek goddess statues and many were in a sitting position. I kept looking around, knowing I had to get out of the building. Leaving the building, I entered the main door of a house. I moved quickly and quietly through the hallway, living room and into a bedroom. As I was in the bedroom, the alarm started to sound. I passed a medium-sized shaggy black dog who didn’t seem to take notice of my presence in the house. I left through an open door to the balcony off the bedroom. The bedroom had modern decoration in soft yellow, white and black. On the balcony I looked around knowing I had to get out of there quickly before someone found me. I looked over the grounds, surrounded by high walls. I knew I could not scale the wall and if I did, it was too far to jump to the grass. Suddenly in the distance I saw two figures flying towards the balcony. One was an angel, long dark hair, white dress, white wings. The other was a man, long hair with some graying, dressed in a waistcoat and tux pants. The man did not look in my direction but clung to the wall. I knew he was a vampire. I knew the pair were hurrying to get back into the house and the alarm was somehow connected to their disappearance. I also knew this angel was going to lift me over the wall to safety.

I woke from the dream, feeling the pain from my dislocated ribs and a headache building from the injury. I did not take time to reflect on the dream as I had move my body before I stiffened further.

Though I felt the angel and vampire were returning to the palace because they belonged there, I also know the angel would help me. Interesting that neither the man on the bench nor the vampire looked at me. I have no idea what they looked like, why didn’t I see their faces? Angel and vampire traveling together, good and evil.

The church full of broken statues perhaps representing the fall of someone I had put on a pedestal. Is it the realization that everyone is human, someone is not as unyielding as I once thought? Everyone has a breaking point?

Interesting dream and one I may blog about further once I am feeling less pain in my ribs.

bizarre dreaming

4 Feb

In my continuation of the dream theme, last night mine was quite bizarre. I dreamed I was having open heart surgery. It was apparently a more simple procedure than most people might have and so I was under a general anesthetic. My incision spiraled around my heart, down the left side of my body, across my lower abdomen and up the right side of my body. I started to wake when the female doctor was finishing the last stitches. I did not feel any pain but could feel the tugging as she sewed me together.

The next dream I was at home, a different home than I live in, but my home in the dream. It was a two storey home, large wood siding gray in colour. I remembering wondering why nobody was asking about the surgery or even seeming to notice my body’s shape as I walked or shuffled around the main floor of the house. The main floor of the house was actually on the second storey which had a large deck off the living room/hallway. My spoke with my daughters, asking them to pick up their dirty clothes off their bedroom floor. My elder daughter proceeded to stuff four nice sweaters into a black cloth bag. The bag has a draw string closure which she pulled tight before saying she had made a new door stop. I was not happy that she had stuffed her nice sweaters into a bag she intended to use as a door stop. Her Dad came to her defense saying what a great idea it was. I looked in the bag and remember distinctly one light gray sweater which was a light weight wool and adorned with pale pink rhinestones.

To calm myself I went outside on the deck, but took a green plastic watering can with me so everyone would think I was going outside to do something, other than get away from the situation inside. The deck was wet with rain water and the sky was gray as though it was going to rain again. When I looked in the planters they were all full of rain water and I felt foolish for bringing the watering can outside with me. I remember talking to myself about how silly it was.

I have not figured out what the meaning of this dream yet. Lots of gray colour, feelings of inadequacy, sadness, embarrassment and concern over what others thought. I was trying to look busy with purpose than have people know or see my feelings. Moving away from emotions or emotionally tense situations. I was not grounded, even the main floor of the house was on the second storey which gives me the feeling of being ungrounded. The plants were over watered by Mother nature, drowning in their planters. To fix my heart the doctor had to cut open my entire core. I’m unsure what that speaks to me.

I will have to sit with this dream a bit longer to understand the meaning and message for me. Where do I feel inadequate in my life now? This is the question I hear and need to answer.

nightmare or full of meaning

23 Jan

Last night I had a dream some might label a nightmare. In the dream I was the observer, but also the young woman killed. I only remember the last part of the dream in which I saw a dress, my dress, laying on the ground and covered in blood. The dress was neatly laid out, sleeveless, creamy white background with large red flowers, would have come to just above my knees, fitted but not tight, loose but not flowing. Beside the dress was a typed note. As I started to type this description, the text now escaped my memory, but it was something referring to a part of me being killed.

I dream often but not always dreams such as this one. When I do have vivid dreams of someone dying, I wake feeling scared and sometimes so fearful I don’t want to get up to use the washroom. The strange this about last night, I did not wake full of fear but full of questions about the dream. What did it mean? Was it related to the story I am currently reading? What message does the mystery hold for me now?

My thoughts tell me the dream was a message of letting go. There is a need to let go of a part of my younger female self before I can move forward. I also wonder who it was in the dream I felt was trying to kill or get rid of that part of me. Am I killing or stifling a part of my younger self that I need to keep alive?

At the end of the dream, I was looking at a 4″x4″ photograph of the dress and note which lay beside the dress. The photo was the size and bordering you might find on an old black and white picture, however this was a coloured photograph. I still have a clear image in my mind of the dress but cannot see any blood stains on it. I owned a dress like it in style, but never wore the colour red in a floral pattern.

I find my dreams and the dreams of those in my life quite fascinating. I will probably think about the image on and off  during the day until a feeling of knowing settles in. I will know when the meaning of the dream feels right.

Do you have any dreams to share?

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