Tag Archives: career

It is, what it is

29 Aug

My last post, as I reread it, is fairly negative. I have sat with the upcoming changes and realized, once again, the higher powers that be are looking out to keep me in truth and on my path.

I used to get upset when things were not turning into what I had planned. It could be age or part of maturity, or both, but now when events do not happen as I envisioned they “should” I wait for understanding as I accept the turn of events. I look for meaning in everything and find it.

At the moment my life is brimming with change! How exciting! I have protected myself from taking on the energy of my coworkers to maintain my positive outlook on what is occurring. How much change?

• new job
• new office space
• looking for a new house
• possible career change for my spouse
• my oldest starting high school
• my middle daughter starting horseback riding and giving up piano

Incredible when I list everything.

And so as we enter the last month of summer and welcome fall, the season of change, I’m going to accept life as it happens. Truly it is what it is.

Unexpected turn

19 Aug

I knew changes were coming. There had been talk since April and even conversations which lead me to believe my voice mattered. The end result is not what I hoped for.

Or is it?

I wanted a change. A new position to feel challenged again. I wanted to grow in a new direction. I got that. I wanted to move closer to my career goal and I am.

What I did not want was to move physically to a new space. I like where I am and who I am with. It saddens me to think about moving.

What bothers me most is the reason for the move. To be micro managed. One person wants control and she worked her manipulative skills to end up with exactly what she wants. I detest that.

I am trying to know what my lesson is in this time of change. I embrace change, however this time part of it is tearing at me.

I need to ask and listen for the answer to feel settled.

perceptions

9 Feb

Pregnant with my first child I was adamant I would go back to work after my maternity leave, but spending nine months with my baby growing inside me changed my perspective on life. My decision to stay at home was based purely on the selfish thought that nobody could raise my child with the same love, attention, empathy, patience and care I could. 

What I was not ready for were the looks of pity I would receive from people I met who heard I was a stay at home Mom. I left a career I loved in HR, a degree under my belt for future use, I was not ashamed of being “just” a Mommy. Society has other impressions of women who stay at home. There have been so many times during the past ten years people have looked embarrassed for me when I’ve told them I am a stay at home Mom, moving on to make conversation with others in the group. Shame on me for actually starting to believe it just a little. I am looking for a job, part-time, to fit the busy schedule of my children with a husband who travels frequently. Initially wondering what possibly would fit our schedule, I found jobs that could work. If only I could get an interview.

Today I was pondering the fine line separating happiness and depression. At times it seems the world is at my feet, happiness everywhere I look in my life, but then I feel overcome with sadness, feelings of loss for the years I was not working to keep up my professional standing. I certainly wasn’t sitting on my butt eating bon bons the past ten years. I had three children spaced 20 months apart, volunteered at a co-operative preschool, chaired a committee at the preschool for the years my children attended, volunteered and continue to volunteer for a rescue group close to my heart, volunteered in the classrooms at elementary school, and chair two committees for the SCC all this on top of being a Mom to three children and running a household as a single parent for at least half of the year.

Would I make the same decision to stay at home? I cherish the years I have been able to finger paint, make crafts all day, attend library story times, bake cookies, go for nature walks, play in the sandbox, go to the park, nap with my toddler and infant. These are moments the past ten years were made of and nothing could be sweeter.

What will I tell my children if they face the same decision as adults: to stay home or work?  I’d like to think I will tell them to stay home, cherish the time with their children while they are young.

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