Tag Archives: decisions

antibiotics vs natural healing

18 Feb

My decision free day did not happen. I don’t think it’s possible to live through a day without making any decisions. I make decisions all the time, not thoughtful deliberation, but the things I do every day need some amount of thought process which I consider decision-making.

I guess my challenge is to stop stressing over the little decisions I make: what to wear, what to eat, where to go, what to do and when, how much effort to put into something, what to make, when to make it, etc.  My only major decision so far this week has been whether to give my daughter antibiotics for her ear infections.

Now to some of you, this might be an auto-pilot decision of yes, or no. I am of two minds on the topic of antibiotics. I know the ear infection would heal naturally, however in the meantime she suffers from extreme pain. I can give her pain meds, a warm compress, olbas oil rubs and love, but the pain still overwhelms her at certain times of the day and night. It is during these moments I do not have the strength to follow through with what my mind is telling me to do. I cannot watch her suffer when I know giving her antibiotics will clear up the infection quicker. If she was not dancing this weekend in the showcase, I may have held off one more day to see how she fared.

At this point, she’s had one dose and we must continue with the antibiotics for the full 10 day course. Ugh…I feel such guilt and even some shame over what I am doing to her body and natural immune system by giving her the drugs. Yes, I will make sure she also receives immune support to rebuild what she’s losing of her good bacteria, but it doesn’t ease my feelings.

What’s done is done and there’s no point in rehashing my decision. Sometimes I must follow what my heart is telling me to do without question. I need to shed the guilt and let it go. Not sure how easy it will be in the morning when it’s time for a dose of the gag inducing horrid tasting stuff!

decisions, how to choose?

16 Feb

Have you ever stopped to consider how many decisions you make in one day? I start making decisions as soon as I open my eyes. I could probably make a flow chart to illustrate all the decisions and outcomes, but this would take too much time. Today I made 15 decisions in the first 10 minutes of my day. Sounds tiring!

I wonder how much brain power it takes to make one decision. I also wonder if I make too many decisions. Some days I think too much, weighing the options of everything I am about to do or say. When my mind works overtime, it has affects my body. This morning my head felt like I was walking through fog. I went through the motions, made decisions, but at the same time I felt like I wasn’t really present to my life. Do you ever feel like this in the morning?

Decisions carry such weight, yes or no, do or don’t, should or shouldn’t, stop or go, slow or fast, eat chocolate or an apple, drink some water or have more caffeine, laugh or cry, walk or run, right or wrong.

My challenge today:  a day without decisions. Is that possible? Ha!  Can’t wait to blog about it later.

perceptions

9 Feb

Pregnant with my first child I was adamant I would go back to work after my maternity leave, but spending nine months with my baby growing inside me changed my perspective on life. My decision to stay at home was based purely on the selfish thought that nobody could raise my child with the same love, attention, empathy, patience and care I could. 

What I was not ready for were the looks of pity I would receive from people I met who heard I was a stay at home Mom. I left a career I loved in HR, a degree under my belt for future use, I was not ashamed of being “just” a Mommy. Society has other impressions of women who stay at home. There have been so many times during the past ten years people have looked embarrassed for me when I’ve told them I am a stay at home Mom, moving on to make conversation with others in the group. Shame on me for actually starting to believe it just a little. I am looking for a job, part-time, to fit the busy schedule of my children with a husband who travels frequently. Initially wondering what possibly would fit our schedule, I found jobs that could work. If only I could get an interview.

Today I was pondering the fine line separating happiness and depression. At times it seems the world is at my feet, happiness everywhere I look in my life, but then I feel overcome with sadness, feelings of loss for the years I was not working to keep up my professional standing. I certainly wasn’t sitting on my butt eating bon bons the past ten years. I had three children spaced 20 months apart, volunteered at a co-operative preschool, chaired a committee at the preschool for the years my children attended, volunteered and continue to volunteer for a rescue group close to my heart, volunteered in the classrooms at elementary school, and chair two committees for the SCC all this on top of being a Mom to three children and running a household as a single parent for at least half of the year.

Would I make the same decision to stay at home? I cherish the years I have been able to finger paint, make crafts all day, attend library story times, bake cookies, go for nature walks, play in the sandbox, go to the park, nap with my toddler and infant. These are moments the past ten years were made of and nothing could be sweeter.

What will I tell my children if they face the same decision as adults: to stay home or work?  I’d like to think I will tell them to stay home, cherish the time with their children while they are young.

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