Tag Archives: hide

i dreamed a dream

23 Feb

I had a dream the other night and I need to discuss it to derive some meaning from it. I was living in on a street lined with reddish brick houses and small apartment buildings in a very large city. I was walking across the alley between my building and the neighbouring building. It was a sunny day and I was with my son who was about three years old. The street was tree-lined. It was an upper class part of the city.

A black man dressed in a suit who was walking on the sidewalk in front of the buildings, stopped to make conversation. He seemed like a pleasant  man, friendly, well dressed, however when he asked my son where he went to school I continued on my way to get inside our building. I didn’t think this man had any business knowing where my son went to school and quietly told my son not to answer the question.

What’s odd is that in the dream my son was only old enough for preschool, but in my mind I was hearing the name of his current elementary school.

Once we were inside I spoke with my Mom. She was in my apartment, for a visit I believe. I told her about the man and his question to my son. My Mom didn’t seem to think it was an odd question. Instead she asked me if I ever played out in front of the building in the little swing area. In my mind I could see a small area about 8′ x 8′ with a swing set. She seemed to find it curious that we never ventured in front of the building to play.

This is all I remember of the dream. I know there was another part but my memory fails me as I type so I’ll add it another time.

If you have any thoughts, please speak up!  I trusted the man until he started asking personal information. I didn’t answer him just hurried off. Why didn’t I just reply? My Mom did not share my concern. Was I being overly cautious? I didn’t understand why a stranger wanted to know where my son went to school.  I hurried off to hide inside. Hmmm, hiding inside myself when someone asks personal information. Not wanting to share my personal side? Not feeling supported by my Mom, my own feminine side, my own Mothering side?

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motivation, where are you?

29 Jan

Today feels like one of those days. My to do list is full, kids are at school, no excuse to still be in my jams, but here I sit typing on my blog. I’ve checked my home email, Hotmail, Facebook, two job sites, read a few blogs and there are 5 other job sites to check. I highly doubt any jobs posted since last night at 10:00pm, but if I don’t look I will never know!

My chair is warm, my butt starting to go numb from sitting here for over an hour and I’d love a latte. If I had a bell I’d probably ring it for someone to get my vanilla latte remembering that I like it grande, solo, decaf, non-fat, half-sweet. Where is Mark (aka Taylor) my latte boy when I need him?!

Motivation is fleeting. Some days I have tons and other days it seems to be stuffed under a couch cushion, hiding in the closet or locked in the basement.  Perhaps if I call out I will find it running towards me along with my two dogs. Would be cool if it actually jumped up to give me a hug and a chin lick too!

Seriously though, I need to find it. There are things I’ve put off . I’m quite certain my Mother-in-law would appreciate her jams, new pants, socks, undies and sweater she left here at the beginning of January when she flew home. She’s either too polite to ask why we haven’t sent her things or it is possible she has forgotten.  I could of course leave this up to her son, however, she’d be picking them up this summer when she visits.

I’m going to do it! I will visualize myself crossing items off my to do list. I will sign off my blog, make my own latte and head upstairs to the say good morning to the guinea pigs. Of course none of that is on my list, but I’ll have a little caffeine kick as I watch Ginger & Cookie do their dance of joy.

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